Over the past few years a stand-up comedy scene has developed in Yangon. Brave locals and expats step up to the stage—many for the first time—in bars such as 50th Street and try to make a room full of strangers laugh. Some are getting quite good at it. We fired questions at three of the fledgling comedians.
Claire Lim, 31, works in advertising
What’s your experience with hecklers?
I’ve been lucky enough to never have any! Unless you count that time when I forgot my lines in a school play and got heckled pretty badly. My parents were surprisingly loud for tiny Asian people.
Why do all the cool people go to Penthouse?
There are plenty of delightful reasons to go to Penthouse every Friday night: delicious food, good music, tasteful décor, reasonable prices and… of course, the extensive selection of prime, top-shelf single-and-ready-to-mingle humans of Yangon.
What advice would you give those thinking of getting Tinder here?
1) Don’t use sedated-tiger photos, you creep.
2) Don’t fake your age—especially Asian women, we don’t age.
3) Don’t expect anything even remotely good to come from this goddamn app too much.
What’s the weirdest thing that has happened to you in Yangon?
Yangon has changed me in many weird ways. I’ve started humming along to the beat of construction noise like it was music, fully embraced sidewalk and stairway betel “contemporary abstract art,” and have mastered showering in the complete darkness with no hot water. The weirdest thing so far though was when I was in a cab one day, and a bus zoomed past so aggressively that the driver’s side window ricocheted away, probably all the way to Mars. And this dude just shrugs it off without even batting an eyelash, probably thinking, “Oh well, just another day on Kabar Aye,” while I clutching for dear life and starting to question life choices. It was, uh, a charming welcome to the city!
Tom Sanders, 28, teacher
How do you recover from a stand-up set that has gone awful?
I employ a team of nine trained geishas who massage me with beer like a fattened cow, while an old Moldovan woman I met on Snapchat sings folks songs to me and whispers secrets in my ear. I also practice mindful-hiking, for over three kilometres a day, and complete a daily writing journal of 1,200 words. All this is supplemented by a Keto-Paleo hybrid diet with high levels of Omega-3s and activated nutty acids. Also, I am addicted to fentanyl.
What’s the most shameful thing you have done in Myanmar?
Stand up comedy.
If you had to get indoctrinated into a cult, what cult would you choose?
Between 2014 and 2015 I actually occupied a fairly high up position in what you might call a cult (we preferred “sect”). The name of the organization was _ Ko'z Ichidagi Eshik_ in the original Kurdish, but we just called it The Gate. I lived and worked on their facility in Slough. Unfortunately I fell asleep watching bootleg American movies on my iPod nano, and slept right through the Great Ascendancy Ceremony, which is why I’m still alive and here today to answer these stupid questions.
What’s your plan for a zombie apocalypse?
I am already highly skilled in nine different martial arts, including Street Karate, Attack Yoga and Cornish Kendo. Combined with my 400-hour playtime of Resident Evil 4 and complete lack of a moral compass, this will allow me to establish a dominant position in this post-apocalyptic hellscape. Over time, as hope fails, I will attract others to my cause, and assemble an army of the faithful few, who will finally allow me to open The Gate forever, ushering mankind into a new era unimaginable to those constrained by material reality. What was the question again?
Shagun Gupta, NGO worker
What’s your advice for surviving Thingyan?
My first and last Thingyan was in 2016. I’m from a place where there are a lot of rowdy crowds and open debauchery so nothing about Thingyan appeals to me. I'd say, keep your mouth shut if you plan on getting drenched; that water is what will give you diarrhoea later.
Your upstairs neighbours are incredibly loud. They smash around the place and don’t give you a second of peace. How do you deal with it?
Oh, this is an actual thing for me. They crush chilli every morning, even weekends. The husband is nice to me, but the wife is invincible. And neither speaks English, so their young son translates with an American accent. It’s all very bizarre and I usually try to have my landlord deal with them. I might buy them something that crushes chilli in bulk...
What joke or subject has got the best reaction from the crowd?
“Yangon taxi drivers are highly invested in my place of origin. Nine out of 10 times I am asked ‘Where you from?’ but what they really want to know is if I’m Bangladeshi.” That cracks up the crowd a lot. In general, the subject of racial undertones in Myanmar is always a crowd favourite.
What country has the best sense of humour?
I’d say the best comedians come from the US, but it’s the English that have the best sense humour. Especially those who voted Leave and have since realised that it wasn’t a suggestion box for Charles and Camilla’s divorce rumours.